We have been doing respite on a regular basis for a large sibling group for the past several months. It is now looking like their case will go to TPR soon. We are thinking about asking to be considered as an adoptive placement for them if/when it reaches that point. That would give us a total of nine children at home.....so a lot to consider. It would be a huge challenge, just considering the logistics of managing a household that size, w/o even factoring in the foster care baggage that would come with the children. Nine kids...wow. BUT I love these kids and it feels so natural for them to be here. We have a lot of children in and out of the house for respite care or friends of my bio children. Many of these kids we like and enjoy but we do not feel the same connection to most of these kids that we do with this sibling group. I can easily imagine them as part of our family.
I feel a little overwhelmed at the thought of adding that many children at once. However, when I analyze exactly what makes me feel overwhelmed it is all things that can be worked out, such as the need for a larger vehicle, more bedroom furniture, possibly adding on to our house. Things that are really minor issues when considering the long term. My hesitation is not about the kids only about the practicalities of putting a total of 11 people in this house.
Prayers for wisdom for my husband and I are appreciated! We have a lot to consider and work out. Prayers for these sweet dc are welcomed also. I so want them to have some permanancy whether it is with their birth family, with us, or with another adoptive family. They've been in foster care for years and it is TIME for them to be settled somewhere.
Talk to me about your adoption experiences, especially if you have added a large sibling group to your family.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Another rant
I've been patient....really, I have. But you know what? I'm tired of being patient. We've been licensed as foster parents since last October and have only had one extremely brief placement of our own. Every time I have the radio on I hear recruiting ads for foster parents. The meth problem in our area is growing---there are meth busts in the paper all the time and most of the time there were children involved who are taken into custody. There are kids who need foster parents! We are willing to take them! Why don't we have a placement??????
I feel like we have lived in a state of anticipation (waiting for "the call") for months and months. It's exhausting and draining.
I feel like we have lived in a state of anticipation (waiting for "the call") for months and months. It's exhausting and draining.
Small Rant
UGGHHHHH!
Why, why, WHY do so many people feel the need to invite my children to Bible school at their churches? And especially, why do people ask me about it in FRONT OF my children.....including mentioning the pizza party or clowns or whatever "draw" they have so that my children will want to go and I will look like the bad guy for saying no?
ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!! Several invites already and it is only the beginning of June.
My 6yo is going to Bible school at my parent's church in a couple weeks. I'm fine with that because she loves stuff like that and she will be in my mom's class.
That is IT though! I'm not sending my kids to a strange church for Bible school---I will take care of their spiritual training at home, thank you very much (not that there is a lot of spiritual training going on at most Bible schools). And we are BUSY already....I'm not looking for anywhere else to send my kids this summer.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Why, why, WHY do so many people feel the need to invite my children to Bible school at their churches? And especially, why do people ask me about it in FRONT OF my children.....including mentioning the pizza party or clowns or whatever "draw" they have so that my children will want to go and I will look like the bad guy for saying no?
ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!! Several invites already and it is only the beginning of June.
My 6yo is going to Bible school at my parent's church in a couple weeks. I'm fine with that because she loves stuff like that and she will be in my mom's class.
That is IT though! I'm not sending my kids to a strange church for Bible school---I will take care of their spiritual training at home, thank you very much (not that there is a lot of spiritual training going on at most Bible schools). And we are BUSY already....I'm not looking for anywhere else to send my kids this summer.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Farmer's Market
Our farmer's market season is underway. We are vending at two markets this year. A busy Saturday market and a smaller, newer, weekday evening market. I'm mostly pleased with how it's going so far. The soaps are not selling quite as fast as I had hoped but I am getting good feedback from the people who are buying. I didn't really know what to expect sales-wise and I think we are doing okay. My son is selling excess produce from the garden and excess periennial starts. He is selling out at most markets (but he hasn't had a huge quantity to start with yet). More produce will be ready soon. The markets should pick up in the next few weeks. It's almost strawberry season here and that will draw huge crowds to the market. Hopefully many of those new customers will be interested in soap. :>)
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Respite again
We did more respite care last weekend. There is a lot I like about doing respite. I get a chance to know the kids w/o having to get involved in all the drama of their court cases, visits, etc. Also, usually before their quirks move from 'cute' to 'annoying' it's time for them to go home.
This group consisted of three sisters. Ages 11, 8, 5. They were from a city and clearly were used to city life. My 6 yo took great pride in showing them the goats, chickens, deer heads on the wall, etc. I could tell they thought they had been abandoned in redneck-ville. lol They are very sweet, quiet girls. I hope they weren't too terribly bored here. I have decided I need to invest in some books/activities/games/????? for pre-teen girls if we are going to continue to do respite for that age. Any suggestions? We're set up with boy stuff and little girl stuff but not much to do for older girls.
The only issue was that there turned out to be more transporting involved than I had been told upfront. When I was first asked if I could do respite, no transport was mentioned. (But I didn't think to ask either). Then it turned into "they might have a visit but since it's a holiday weekend I don't think they will" and I was left with the impression that someone would pick them up at my home if there was a visit (not sure if that was my misunderstanding or if I was intentionally led to believe that). Then a few hours before they were to be dropped off it was "Oh btw, you'll need to take them to _______ (city over an hour away) for their visit and then pick them up again 5 hours later." HUH???? At that point I should have said, look, that's not what I agreed to, you'll need to make other arrangements".....but I was feeling trapped because I wasn't sure if I had misunderstood all along that this transporation was going to be expected and I didn't want to leave the other foster parent in a lurch.
So I took them. $60 in gas and a lot of driving time out of my weekend. I'm not in
foster care to make a profit but I also cannot afford to have to spend money from our personal budget on respite transport. I'm not even sure how much I'm being reimbursed for caring for them...probably about $75 (it was just for one night) but I won't see that money for a month.
I learned a valuable lesson. Next time I'm called about respite my first question will be "How much transportation will be expected?" Then if it changes later I can confidently say, "I'm sorry, that's not what I agreed to do."
This group consisted of three sisters. Ages 11, 8, 5. They were from a city and clearly were used to city life. My 6 yo took great pride in showing them the goats, chickens, deer heads on the wall, etc. I could tell they thought they had been abandoned in redneck-ville. lol They are very sweet, quiet girls. I hope they weren't too terribly bored here. I have decided I need to invest in some books/activities/games/????? for pre-teen girls if we are going to continue to do respite for that age. Any suggestions? We're set up with boy stuff and little girl stuff but not much to do for older girls.
The only issue was that there turned out to be more transporting involved than I had been told upfront. When I was first asked if I could do respite, no transport was mentioned. (But I didn't think to ask either). Then it turned into "they might have a visit but since it's a holiday weekend I don't think they will" and I was left with the impression that someone would pick them up at my home if there was a visit (not sure if that was my misunderstanding or if I was intentionally led to believe that). Then a few hours before they were to be dropped off it was "Oh btw, you'll need to take them to _______ (city over an hour away) for their visit and then pick them up again 5 hours later." HUH???? At that point I should have said, look, that's not what I agreed to, you'll need to make other arrangements".....but I was feeling trapped because I wasn't sure if I had misunderstood all along that this transporation was going to be expected and I didn't want to leave the other foster parent in a lurch.
So I took them. $60 in gas and a lot of driving time out of my weekend. I'm not in
foster care to make a profit but I also cannot afford to have to spend money from our personal budget on respite transport. I'm not even sure how much I'm being reimbursed for caring for them...probably about $75 (it was just for one night) but I won't see that money for a month.
I learned a valuable lesson. Next time I'm called about respite my first question will be "How much transportation will be expected?" Then if it changes later I can confidently say, "I'm sorry, that's not what I agreed to do."
Say Cheese!
I just finished my third batch of goat milk cheese. So far I've made chevre, fromage blanc, and fromagina. All 3 are soft spreadable cheeses, similar to cream cheese. Yum! I made one batch into a cheese spread seasoned with creole seasoning, black pepper and onion powder. It was so good! I spread some on a tortilla, added some fresh lettuce (from our garden) and made a roll up.
I'm hooked! This is so much fun. :>) I need to get this baby goat sold so we can have more milk for the house.
I want to try mozzarella next.
I'm hooked! This is so much fun. :>) I need to get this baby goat sold so we can have more milk for the house.
I want to try mozzarella next.
Monday, May 26, 2008
So much for that.
So much for blogging every day in May. lol Between a slow computer, slow internet, and an ISP that was completely down for several days I didn't keep up. I'll try to do better from now on. :)
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
A great homemaking website
I've been on Laine's email list for over 8 years. I have gleaned so many good ideas from her letters. Check out the archives at http://www.lainesletters.com/
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Ten People, One Bathroom
Day two of respite care for the sibling group of five has gone well. Really sweet kids. No issues today except for the "I had that toy first" and "It's supposed to be my turn now!" type stuff that is normal whenever you get a group of small children together. They'll be here one more night.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Full House!
Our respite care kids arrived last night. What a sweet group! Five kids, ages 9-2. It's going good so far. :)
Friday, May 2, 2008
powerful quote
“I've come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It's my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or de-humanized.”
~Dr. Haim Ginott~
~Dr. Haim Ginott~
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Recently Made Soaps
The soaps with the daffodils are Oatmeal, Milk and Honey scented. The other photo shows a variety of different scents/designs. Our farmer's market season begins this month so I'm soaping like crazy to get ready for it. :)
Blogging in May
My friend challenged me to blog every day in May. So far so good. LOL We'll see if I can keep it up. :>)
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Respite
The new agency offers 2 days of paid respite care per month. That is a wonderful service to provide to foster parents! This is something we can do while we wait for a placement of our own. We will be doing respite care this weekend for a sibling group of five. I am both excited and nervous. It will be for three nights. I’ll let you know how it goes. It can’t be any harder than the previous group we did respite for (did I ever blog about them? The group with the major food hoarding issues and the major, major, major behavioral problems? This group *should* be a breeze compared to those children. I hope.).
Switching Agencies
We began our foster care journey last summer. For years we had talked about fostering and/or adopting off and on. It was never the right time. First, we lived in a tiny 2 bedroom house and literally had no room for extra dc. I seriously doubt we could have passed a homestudy inspection just due to the small square footage.
When we moved to our current home, our youngest was a high need 6 week old baby. So we had the space at that point but not the energy. LOL As she got older and less needy we began to discuss fostering again. By this time we also had met a family who are now good friends who had just begun fostering themselves. We looked into beginning the licensing process in the fall of ’06. We were discouraged to find that we (both of us) would have to attend all day classes for three Saturdays in a row. (Plus, we would have to drive 1.5-2 hours one way to go to the classes). There was no way we could leave our youngest for that many hours at a time---not without making her and her caregiver miserable. So we put the idea aside, again.
A few months later R, was content to stay with others for a few hours at a time and we again looked into beginning the licensing. Then we were thrilled to learn that I was expecting. We put fostering on hold again, knowing that pregnancy and the newborn phase would keep me plenty busy without adding the stresses of foster care. Unfortunately, I lost that baby last summer at 15 weeks gestation. We were devastated. It didn’t take long though, for our thoughts to return to fostering. We had the room, our youngest was older, and pregnancy was no longer a factor. We signed up for the classes.
That was in July. Actually I had surgery related to the miscarriage on July first, came home on July second and called the county agency that same day. I threw myself into fulfilling the licensing requirements as a way to keep my mind off my grief.
We were finally licensed at the end of October. At that point we were offered a sib group of 3, which we turned down due to lack of seating for that many children in our vehicles. (It turns out they went back home after only 3 days in foster care anyway.). In December we had a toddler boy placed with us. He was/is adorable and I was so sad to see him leave. He was with us 9 days and then he was placed with a family member. After that we had no more placements! We’re in a small rural county and there simply are not many children in care. That’s good…..I’m glad there aren’t more children in need of care here….but we know there are children somewhere who need us so we switched to a private agency that seems more likely to have a placement for us.
The new agency is a therapeutic agency so we had to do some more training in order to transfer our license. We completed that last weekend. I am so excited about this switch. Every one has been so nice and professional. I’m excited to see how it works out.
So….that’s a summary of our foster care journey thus far.
When we moved to our current home, our youngest was a high need 6 week old baby. So we had the space at that point but not the energy. LOL As she got older and less needy we began to discuss fostering again. By this time we also had met a family who are now good friends who had just begun fostering themselves. We looked into beginning the licensing process in the fall of ’06. We were discouraged to find that we (both of us) would have to attend all day classes for three Saturdays in a row. (Plus, we would have to drive 1.5-2 hours one way to go to the classes). There was no way we could leave our youngest for that many hours at a time---not without making her and her caregiver miserable. So we put the idea aside, again.
A few months later R, was content to stay with others for a few hours at a time and we again looked into beginning the licensing. Then we were thrilled to learn that I was expecting. We put fostering on hold again, knowing that pregnancy and the newborn phase would keep me plenty busy without adding the stresses of foster care. Unfortunately, I lost that baby last summer at 15 weeks gestation. We were devastated. It didn’t take long though, for our thoughts to return to fostering. We had the room, our youngest was older, and pregnancy was no longer a factor. We signed up for the classes.
That was in July. Actually I had surgery related to the miscarriage on July first, came home on July second and called the county agency that same day. I threw myself into fulfilling the licensing requirements as a way to keep my mind off my grief.
We were finally licensed at the end of October. At that point we were offered a sib group of 3, which we turned down due to lack of seating for that many children in our vehicles. (It turns out they went back home after only 3 days in foster care anyway.). In December we had a toddler boy placed with us. He was/is adorable and I was so sad to see him leave. He was with us 9 days and then he was placed with a family member. After that we had no more placements! We’re in a small rural county and there simply are not many children in care. That’s good…..I’m glad there aren’t more children in need of care here….but we know there are children somewhere who need us so we switched to a private agency that seems more likely to have a placement for us.
The new agency is a therapeutic agency so we had to do some more training in order to transfer our license. We completed that last weekend. I am so excited about this switch. Every one has been so nice and professional. I’m excited to see how it works out.
So….that’s a summary of our foster care journey thus far.
Blogging again
Hello Blog Friends!
My poor blog has sat neglected for months. I originally started this blog to record our foster care journey because reading the foster care blogs of others has been very helpful to me. There has been little related to foster care to journal though, so the posts have been few and far between. We have switched to a new agency now and hopefully will be getting placements on a more regular basis.
I also struggled because I wanted to keep this blog very anonymous, to protect the identity of any foster children placed with us. However, I didn’t like how impersonal that made the blog feel so I didn’t enjoy posting. I’ve decided to relax a bit on the privacy issue with my own family. Hopefully I can find the right balance between privacy & security VS. sharing enough details to make the blog personal and interesting. If/when we have foster children in our home I will reevaluate and will break off the more personal posts into a private blog if needed.
A friend has challenged me to blog daily through the month of May. I will try my best to keep up with that so keep checking for new posts!
My poor blog has sat neglected for months. I originally started this blog to record our foster care journey because reading the foster care blogs of others has been very helpful to me. There has been little related to foster care to journal though, so the posts have been few and far between. We have switched to a new agency now and hopefully will be getting placements on a more regular basis.
I also struggled because I wanted to keep this blog very anonymous, to protect the identity of any foster children placed with us. However, I didn’t like how impersonal that made the blog feel so I didn’t enjoy posting. I’ve decided to relax a bit on the privacy issue with my own family. Hopefully I can find the right balance between privacy & security VS. sharing enough details to make the blog personal and interesting. If/when we have foster children in our home I will reevaluate and will break off the more personal posts into a private blog if needed.
A friend has challenged me to blog daily through the month of May. I will try my best to keep up with that so keep checking for new posts!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
2.5 months
Wow, has it really been two and a half months since I updated here? Time flies when you're having fun. :)
We got our first foster care placement in December. An adorable 23 month old boy who was only with us for nine days. We knew from the beginning that he would probably go to a family placement and with Christmas coming we knew the judge would likely push for their paperwork to be rushed so the child could be with them for Christmas. It did indeed work out that way. I'm glad we knew the placement would be short because that made us prepared for when he left. We enjoyed caring for him. Hopefully we will have another placement soon.
Since then I've done some babysitting for the 11 month old foster son of a good friend. He is a precious child too and it is a pleasure to care for him. In the near future we may be doing some respite care for a sibling group of three that is currently placed with another local foster family.
I have so many thoughts about foster care that I would like to blog about. The emotions involved with it are so complex. It's late though, so I will save those posts to blog another day.
I've made soap several times this winter. It is my new hobby. Soaping is addictive! I have a notebook full of different soaping ideas I want to try. I set up a store on ETSY but haven't listed anything yet. That is one of my projects for February.
Our does are looking pregnant and we are looking forward to having goat kids in March. I'm so excited about these bloodlines---I can't wait to see what the kids look like. Plus once the does freshen I will have more milk to make into soap. lol
We are taking a new approach with school this semester. We're using a unit study method called "lapbooking" which is something I've never tried before. We've done some unit study work in the past (years ago) but never lapbooking. I'm finding it to be really enjoyable. Currently we are working on a "Sled Dogs" lapbook. In a few weeks we will follow the Iditarod sled dog race in Alaska as the final part of our unit study.
I also changed up our math curriculum. We set aside the Saxon math in favor of a worksheet generator. C (age 11)and I are both liking this much better. Saxon (in spite of being one of the most popular homeschool math curriculums) is rather boring. I find their review method confusing also because so many different types of problems are included in each lesson. It's nice to shake things up for a change of pace once in a while. :)
M & C are getting ready for an ice-fishing trip with M's grandfather. I know they will have a great time. T has a list of 12 "girl things" she wants us to do together while they are gone. The list includes 1) Go out to eat at Red Lobster (She asked if I could wear my wedding dress for that occasion! lol ) 2) Take R to have her ears pierced among other things. M & C will only be gone 4 days but I think it would take us 2 weeks to do everything on T's list. She likes to dream big!
We got our first foster care placement in December. An adorable 23 month old boy who was only with us for nine days. We knew from the beginning that he would probably go to a family placement and with Christmas coming we knew the judge would likely push for their paperwork to be rushed so the child could be with them for Christmas. It did indeed work out that way. I'm glad we knew the placement would be short because that made us prepared for when he left. We enjoyed caring for him. Hopefully we will have another placement soon.
Since then I've done some babysitting for the 11 month old foster son of a good friend. He is a precious child too and it is a pleasure to care for him. In the near future we may be doing some respite care for a sibling group of three that is currently placed with another local foster family.
I have so many thoughts about foster care that I would like to blog about. The emotions involved with it are so complex. It's late though, so I will save those posts to blog another day.
I've made soap several times this winter. It is my new hobby. Soaping is addictive! I have a notebook full of different soaping ideas I want to try. I set up a store on ETSY but haven't listed anything yet. That is one of my projects for February.
Our does are looking pregnant and we are looking forward to having goat kids in March. I'm so excited about these bloodlines---I can't wait to see what the kids look like. Plus once the does freshen I will have more milk to make into soap. lol
We are taking a new approach with school this semester. We're using a unit study method called "lapbooking" which is something I've never tried before. We've done some unit study work in the past (years ago) but never lapbooking. I'm finding it to be really enjoyable. Currently we are working on a "Sled Dogs" lapbook. In a few weeks we will follow the Iditarod sled dog race in Alaska as the final part of our unit study.
I also changed up our math curriculum. We set aside the Saxon math in favor of a worksheet generator. C (age 11)and I are both liking this much better. Saxon (in spite of being one of the most popular homeschool math curriculums) is rather boring. I find their review method confusing also because so many different types of problems are included in each lesson. It's nice to shake things up for a change of pace once in a while. :)
M & C are getting ready for an ice-fishing trip with M's grandfather. I know they will have a great time. T has a list of 12 "girl things" she wants us to do together while they are gone. The list includes 1) Go out to eat at Red Lobster (She asked if I could wear my wedding dress for that occasion! lol ) 2) Take R to have her ears pierced among other things. M & C will only be gone 4 days but I think it would take us 2 weeks to do everything on T's list. She likes to dream big!
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