So, talk to me about adoption...

We have been doing respite on a regular basis for a large sibling group for the past several months. It is now looking like their case will go to TPR soon. We are thinking about asking to be considered as an adoptive placement for them if/when it reaches that point. That would give us a total of nine children at home.....so a lot to consider. It would be a huge challenge, just considering the logistics of managing a household that size, w/o even factoring in the foster care baggage that would come with the children. Nine kids...wow. BUT I love these kids and it feels so natural for them to be here. We have a lot of children in and out of the house for respite care or friends of my bio children. Many of these kids we like and enjoy but we do not feel the same connection to most of these kids that we do with this sibling group. I can easily imagine them as part of our family.

I feel a little overwhelmed at the thought of adding that many children at once. However, when I analyze exactly what makes me feel overwhelmed it is all things that can be worked out, such as the need for a larger vehicle, more bedroom furniture, possibly adding on to our house. Things that are really minor issues when considering the long term. My hesitation is not about the kids only about the practicalities of putting a total of 11 people in this house.

Prayers for wisdom for my husband and I are appreciated! We have a lot to consider and work out. Prayers for these sweet dc are welcomed also. I so want them to have some permanancy whether it is with their birth family, with us, or with another adoptive family. They've been in foster care for years and it is TIME for them to be settled somewhere.

Talk to me about your adoption experiences, especially if you have added a large sibling group to your family.

Respite again

We did more respite care last weekend. There is a lot I like about doing respite. I get a chance to know the kids w/o having to get involved in all the drama of their court cases, visits, etc. Also, usually before their quirks move from 'cute' to 'annoying' it's time for them to go home.

This group consisted of three sisters. Ages 11, 8, 5. They were from a city and clearly were used to city life. My 6 yo took great pride in showing them the goats, chickens, deer heads on the wall, etc. I could tell they thought they had been abandoned in redneck-ville. lol They are very sweet, quiet girls. I hope they weren't too terribly bored here. I have decided I need to invest in some books/activities/games/????? for pre-teen girls if we are going to continue to do respite for that age. Any suggestions? We're set up with boy stuff and little girl stuff but not much to do for older girls.

The only issue was that there turned out to be more transporting involved than I had been told upfront. When I was first asked if I could do respite, no transport was mentioned. (But I didn't think to ask either). Then it turned into "they might have a visit but since it's a holiday weekend I don't think they will" and I was left with the impression that someone would pick them up at my home if there was a visit (not sure if that was my misunderstanding or if I was intentionally led to believe that). Then a few hours before they were to be dropped off it was "Oh btw, you'll need to take them to _______ (city over an hour away) for their visit and then pick them up again 5 hours later." HUH???? At that point I should have said, look, that's not what I agreed to, you'll need to make other arrangements".....but I was feeling trapped because I wasn't sure if I had misunderstood all along that this transporation was going to be expected and I didn't want to leave the other foster parent in a lurch.

So I took them. $60 in gas and a lot of driving time out of my weekend. I'm not in
foster care to make a profit but I also cannot afford to have to spend money from our personal budget on respite transport. I'm not even sure how much I'm being reimbursed for caring for them...probably about $75 (it was just for one night) but I won't see that money for a month.

I learned a valuable lesson. Next time I'm called about respite my first question will be "How much transportation will be expected?" Then if it changes later I can confidently say, "I'm sorry, that's not what I agreed to do."

The kids are all asleep. This is the last night the respite kids will be here. It has gone very, very well. I couldn't ask for a better group of kids! I'm going to miss them when they leave. Hopefully their foster parents will want to use us for respite again.

Ten People, One Bathroom

Day two of respite care for the sibling group of five has gone well. Really sweet kids. No issues today except for the "I had that toy first" and "It's supposed to be my turn now!" type stuff that is normal whenever you get a group of small children together. They'll be here one more night.

Full House!

Our respite care kids arrived last night. What a sweet group! Five kids, ages 9-2. It's going good so far. :)

Respite

The new agency offers 2 days of paid respite care per month. That is a wonderful service to provide to foster parents! This is something we can do while we wait for a placement of our own. We will be doing respite care this weekend for a sibling group of five. I am both excited and nervous. It will be for three nights. I’ll let you know how it goes. It can’t be any harder than the previous group we did respite for (did I ever blog about them? The group with the major food hoarding issues and the major, major, major behavioral problems? This group *should* be a breeze compared to those children. I hope.).